How to Be Cheap Part 2

Yesterday, I shared way too much information about my grocery habits. Today I will tell you a few other things I do to save money.

First of all, I want to put it out there that when I talk about being cheap, I don’t mean on quality. I like for my kids and me to wear nice clothes and have nice things, I just prefer to get those things at the best possible price or using some creative methods. (Now I sound like a shoplifter.) Here are some somewhat random things that I do to save/earn money.

1. Eating out can be a big money suck, but it’s not something we’re willing to give up. I cook family dinners Sunday through Thursday, but I don’t cook on weekend nights. Obviously, you can save restaurant coupons that come in the mail, etc. If there are places your family loves to go, be sure to go to their website and sign up for their emails or clubs – this is the way I get many of my good coupons for eating out. Another favorite of mine is restaurant.com where you can buy a gift certificate for $10 off $20 or $25 off $50 for a fraction of the cost. Never, ever pay the regular price for these certificates, even though it’s not a terrible deal. Always check on retailmenot.com first to see what codes you can use to get 50-90% off of the certificate. While we’re on that topic, check with retailmenot.com before you buy anything online.

2. Speaking of buying online, let’s talk about gifts. I shop for Christmas and birthdays year round. For example, I’m not buying the boys anything for Christmas because I have such a stash for them in the gift closet downstairs that I’m all set for Santa. A site that I like a lot for gift ideas is wantnot.net, which trolls the internet for sales, deals, and discount codes, saving me the time of looking. I read it daily from my Google Reader and if it’s something that I could use, I check it out, otherwise, I’m not out much time. Another thing I like is the ebay Daily Deals, which are 4 items emailed to you every day that are 60-90% off. Most of the time, I just delete it, but occasionally it’s something that would make a great gift. And birthday parties kill me, so anytime I see a steal on a kid gift I buy it and stash it so that at birthday party time, I don’t have to go out and spend $15-20 because I have a stash of nice things that I got for $5.

3. Staying on the internet, my new favorite thing is Swagbucks. Swagbucks is a search engine that produces the same results as a Google search, but lets you win this fake money that can be redeemed for prizes and gift cards. Using it daily, I probably win $2-$5 a day and for $45 you can buy a $5 Amazon gift card. These add up fast and I save them to use for, what else? My gift closet stash. Free money! Sign up here.

4. If you’re a book buyer, try paperbackswap.com. I go to the library for most things, but I also like to do PBS to get books that I want to keep or to get rid of books I don’t need which earn me credits for new books for me!

5. Haircuts kill me. I get my own hair cut, but the frequency that boys and men must get their hair cut makes me kind of insane. Especially when they charge $15 for a kids’ haircut. So, I learned how to cut hair. I can cut Mr. Pigs’ hair and Piglet’s every 2-3 weeks, but Pigpen’s is a challenge for me. He has this wispy bird feather fluff that is proving to be challenging. But the other two? Clipper, blend, cut. Easy.

6. This might be TMI, but as dirty as Pigpen is, I was going through a roll of papertowels every few days and they aren’t easy to get that cheap. I may not have paid for toilet paper in over a year, but I haven’t had that kind of luck with paper towels. So, one day I took all of Piglet’s old barf rags, any old t-shirts, old washcloths and I cut them all into rags and popped them into a drawer. Now, I go through a roll of papertowels in about a month. I reserve them exclusively for dog puke and other such related nastiness.

7. One last thing that I do for fun is try products for companies that are using word of mouth advertising. They will send you product to try and bunches of coupons to go with it. The more you participate, the more you get. My favorite is bzzagent.com, where they “pay” you with MyPoints, which you can redeem for gift cards. Another one I like is SheSpeaks.com. Oh, and vocalpoint.com is another one that will send samples with lots of great coupons to share.


Whew. There. I’m done. I promise to stop for a while, but I hope some of you enjoy those ideas!

The Cheapness, Part One

Why haven't I posted, you might ask? Because I got it in my head that I wanted to write this deal about being frugal and all and can't seem to make myself actually write it even though 10 times a day I think of something else I want to add. I'm going to start now and whether I actually finish will remain to be seen. And it might depend on how tired I get, how well my brain continues working, or what might come on TV. I’m easily distracted. (Oh, look! Turtles!) (10 points for naming that movie.) (See? How distracted?) (GAH!)

Perhaps a list would help my mind take control. Ahem…

Pigs’ Tips for Living Frugally While Not Sacrificing What You Want.

That’s an awfully long title. Surely I can be more concise.

How to Be Cheap. By Pigs.

There. That seems more appropriate. As long as we’re talking about not wasting, we should start with words, eh? (What, I’m Canadian now?)

1. Most importantly: The Coupon. The coupon alone is not really worth that much. The coupon when paired with your grocery store’s handy dandy sales ad is magical. If you have a grocery store that doubles or triples coupons, match those bad boys up with a sale and you’ve got yourself a deal.

2. Let’s say you want to get yourself some more coupons. Well, you have a few options. You can look online at websites like coupons.com. You can go to the actual product website that you are seeking and see if they have any printables available. If you have a product that L-L-LOVE and must have whether it’s on sale or not, you might email that company and rave about their product. I would be surprised if they did not give you much free stuff. I am a big fan of calling that 1-800 number on food packaging. (“Hi, Dannon? Yes, Pigs again. I was wondering if you could tell me if the date on your packaging is sell by or use by? What? You want to send me a free product coupon? Well, thank you!”)

In my neck of the woods, I’ve discovered a lovely way to get more coupons….get on the train, and ride it! (hoo hoo!) A coupon train, that is. There’s a few other nerds in my neighborhood who like to coupon too [if you can use “coupon” as a verb, you’re clearly extra cool] and each week we pass our Sunday newspaper coupons around and like magic, 6 sets of coupons from the last six weeks appear in your mailbox for your perusal! Voila!

Or, you could buy more newspapers – Zzzzzzzzzzz….

3. I will continue on the joy that is the coupon. Check with your store to find out about their coupon policy. Some stores take competitor’s coupons (Publix). Some stores let you stack their store coupons with manufacturer’s coupons for a double whammy (Target, Publix). Some stores let you load all kinds of nifty e-coupons onto your shopper card and use those in addition to paper coupons! (Kroger) Check into sites like cellfire.com, shortcuts.com, and pgesaver.com. You, too, can be a geek like me.

4. What happens when the stuff on sale is stuff I don’t need? Well, this has a two part answer. Maybe three. We’ll see how wordy I am tonight. First, does it cost any money? If the answer is yes, and you don’t need it, don’t buy it. If the answer is a tiny bit of money (under a quarter?) and you will use it at some point and it won’t go bad, get it. (see point 6 ahead) If the item is totally free, I get it regardless, because there is always someone who can use it, whether it’s a neighbor or the food pantry. You can donate almost anything non-perishable. The final question is “Does it earn me extra money?” and this will take us to #5.

5. Extra money? From the grocery store? This is a fun little bit called “overage”. When your coupons are above the value of the product you are buying, it sometimes creates overage, or money that should technically be your change, but you kind of look like a jerk walking out with products and change. My use of overage is to put it toward things that I can’t get coupons for, things that I need, things that don’t go on sale. Produce, meat, milk, bread, DIAPERS. Good Lord, the diapers. I won’t pay more than $6.99 for Pampers, but that’s still $6.99 that someone’s going to be pooping in. It pains me to think about it too hard. Overage is your friend.

6. This doesn’t flow well from #5, but I mentioned it above and it is the stockpile. Things go on sale at certain times of the year and coupons and generally coincide with these sales. For example, Kleenex are often on sale September-November. Why? Because people are finished buying them for back to school and in need of them because their little monsters are back in school spreading the germs around. Soups are on sale now, because….it’s cold. Duh. And so on. When things are on repeated sales/coupons, it’s good to stock up on them whether you need them or not to create your stockpile that you can pick out of during the sale drought. You should see my basement and closets. There are parts of my house that resemble a grocery store. My pride will not allow me to share photos.

7. Since I’m on a roll with the grocery business, let’s finish that topic up. This brings us to meal planning. I plan my dinners each week based on what I already have in the house and what produce and meats are on sale at the store. This in itself really saves a lot of money. Our meals almost always provide leftovers for our lunches as well. ‘Cause I have a hangup about not eating cold stuff for lunch, which is irrelevant, but interesting.

8. Finally, to finish up the groceries, a couple of things that I’m partial to, but might not jive with you. These are just a matter of preference. First, markdowns. I find that I am able to find really great deals on meats, cheese, eggs, and milk/yogurt products that are marked down to half or less at my store because they are within a week or days or their sell by dates. All meat that I buy goes straight into the freezer when I get home anyway, so this one is a no brainer for me. Milk and cheese (shredded) will also freeze. My boys eat yogurt like Hoovers, so there’s no worries there on the dates.

9. Second, store brands. Anything I can’t get on sale or with a coupon but I need for a meal I am totally open to trying the store brand. I’d say 75% of the time I’m okay with it. Being brand picky is not something that I’m guilty of anymore. My favorite brand is now Free.

10. To wrap up, I’d say set a budget. I set a grocery budget and an eat out budget, mostly as a matter of personal challenge. My grocery budget, which includes diapers, beauty/health products and paper products is $40/week. Sometimes I’m a little over or under, but I’m usually close. Our weekly eat out budget is $20. I’m a wizard with restaurant coupons, kids eat free nights, and restaurant.com.

There you have it, friends. A synopsis of my grocery-ing ways. I’ve outed myself as the cheapest person you know. Please don’t judge me too harshly.

Tiny

I was going to write about being frugal today, but it's been bumped due to events of today which have left me too discombobulated to talk about something coherently. Today, Piglet woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My parents were here all weekend and seem to have wiped him out because he woke up with the devil in his pants.

The good news was that we had plans to go to the pumpkin farm this morning with one of our playgroups. (Not the one with the chick I don't like those kid is mean to Piglet.) There were four moms, eight boys, and one girl. I thought I was in good company until I realized that it was my kid's turn to be "that kid" today. You know, the one that causes everyone to roll their eyes inwardly, but smile empathetically at you in a way that you can tell they're relieved it's not their kid? Yeah, that was me. And Piglet.

So we head to the car to go to the farm amid much whining. Piglet did not want to go to the farm. He did not like pumpkins. He did not like orange. He did not want a hay ride. I humor him as I loaded him in the car because I was thrilled that we were actually on time. I gaily tied and double knotted his shoes and even whistled a little. There might have been a slight kick of the ankles. Of course, since we were on time, you will not be surprised to know that as I was buckling Piglet into his carseat, I discovered that his crotch was wet.

Me: Did you pee in your pants?!
P: No!
Me: You JUST went potty. Why did you pee now?
P: I didn't. I peed on my pants when I was going potty.
Me: ?????
P: I missed?

I ran into the house, ran up the stairs, got more pants, more underwear, and raced back to the car. Unbuckle Piglet, untie shoes, remove shoes, remove pants [yes, we're right there in the driveway] underwear is dry - his story checks out. Sigh heavily. Pigpen, alone in the car, begins to wail. Put on new pants, put on shoes, retie shoes, rebuckle into car seat. Wipe sweat off of own brow. Throw sullied clothes across garage. Piglet still does not want to go to the pumpkin farm. Why are we doing this again?

We're now late. Drive 20 minutes to pumpkin farm. Other 3 adults, 6 boys, and 1 girl are waiting on us. Am THAT mom. Go to picnic tables to eat lunch. Piglet does not want to eat lunch. He does not want applesauce, pretzels or peanut butter crackers. He wants Pigpen's granola bar. And a juice box. I don't have a juice box, I am the mean mommy who brings water in a cup. Bo-ring! There is whining.

We at last finish lunch and walk over to a barn-like structure to peruse pumpkins and take potty breaks. Piglet is too short to stand at this potty. He refuses to sit. I stand him up on the seat and he aims at the water. Then, deciding that isn't as interesting he turns his man part into a fire hose and begins twirling it around, making loop de loops on the wall, toilet, floor, etc. He is elated over his newfound prowess. I am trying to figure out how to smack him in a way that won't alarm the other two mommies with perfectly well-behaved children just outside the stall. Pigpen crawls under the stall door and disappears.

"You want me to hold Pigpen?" calls another mommy.

"Um, yes, please!" I frantically wipe urine from every available surface while giving Piglet my patented-usually-reserved-for-the-grocery-store fingernail squeeze on the skin between his fingers. I think I've got him under control when he begins to yell, "UNCLE! UNCLE! MOMMY LET GO!" I wither.

We wash up, retrieve the wandering Pigpen and leave the restroom so the other mommies can talk about us properly. I decide to put Pigpen in the Bjorn (yes, he still fits at 16 months and 21 pounds) to a) prevent him from wandering away and b) have two hands free to handle Piglet, the Wondergrouch. As I'm loading Pigpen into the Bjorn, I hear a squeal. It's a mommyfriend, getting her ankle soaked by a spray of water. Why in the world is water spraying when it's 50 degrees and windy out here? I look around in annoyance and find Piglet, soaked from the waist down as a direct result of HIM turning on a random spigot that he found.

I turn off the spigot and take innumerable deep breaths. I seek my zen place. It's missing. Instead, I grit my teeth, squat down (Pigpen in Baby Bjorn! My thighs are solid! Who needs a gym when this is your day?) and yank his cold, wet pants down right there in the barn. Yes, I am white trash. I felt his underwear which was miraculously still dry again, again untied and removed the shoes and put on new, dry pants. Re-affixed and retied shoes, uttered many a threatening word regarding spigots under my breath at him and stood up. (Bjorn! 21 pounds!)

It was time for the hayride. Hooray. Piglet began to squeal and tried to run away.

P: I DON'T WANT TO GO ON THE HAYRIDE!
Me: Why?
P: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me: It will be fun. You like tractors, you like trailers, you like farms. I paid two dollars. Let's go.
P: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Et cetera.

Everyone else was on the wagon praying we wouldn't get on. Ha ha ha....I just spent two bucks. We're SO going. I hefted Piglet up onto the wagon (Bjorn! 21 pounds! Pigpen!) and clamored aboard behind him. There was thrashing. There was wailing. Everyone awkwardly tried to make conversation about the farm as the other (7) kids stared at him. The tractor began to pull the wagon and he was fine. Suddenly, life's good. We survived the rest of the hayride, a trip to the pond to feed the fish, and a ride home. The rest of the day continued as can be expected, but I just had to share this one part. Just this one, tiny part of my day.

Tiny.

Meka leka hi meka hiney ho

Hiya. Where have you been? What's new? Please share.

I have so many thoughts swimming in my head that I can't focus. This must be how my students felt when I told them to write. Augh!! Okay. Head clearing. I'll work backwards from now. I just bought a new pair of glasses. These are necessary because upon going to the eye doctor I found out that my prescription had improved for the first time in, oh....my whole life. So my glasses are too strong. Before you get too excited (I feel all that excitement out there!) I'm still very, very blind. Oh, and I have cataracts. Have I mentioned that? Yeah, I'm 80. So anyway, since I am so very, very blind, my glass with the 40% discount were $457. FOR REAL! So with this fragile vision of mine, you can see that it's important for me to be frugal, as we all know I can be. It's necessary for me to have both glasses and a home to live in.

Today I hosted a playgroup. It's this playgroup that I joined about a year ago to meet new people and I haven't been to in quite a while, even though I met a lot of people I liked. Why haven't I been, you ask? Well, there's one woman there whose kids I truly can't stand. Every single time we're around them her kid is totally mean to Piglet. Not that I expect him to have everybody treat him perfectly and make him into a wimp, but this kid is MEAN. Like, knocking Piglet to the floor over a toy when he doesn't even know him mean.

Today, he took sidewalk chalk and starting drawing all over Piglet's car. Now, I'm the first to admit that Piglet is crazy OCD about cleanliness, but this was just rude and mean. The mom never says anything more than, "Alexander, no..." and then returns to conversation. [Her kid threw a huge shovelful of sand on HER and she said no. I would have carried him to the car, beaten some part of him, taken away his joy, and driven him home, but that's just me.] So....Piglet goes up to Alexander and says, "Chalk is for the sidewalk, don't write on my car!", which I thought was a relatively mature response for a 3 year old. Alexander drew on Piglet's face and shirt in purple chalk and then knocked the bottom of his cup up into his face so water went all over him. Piglet burst into tears and indiscernible words and ran to me. Alexander's mom gave me the "your kid is a weirdo" face. So there's my dilemma. And I haven't even mentioned her 6 year old that she homeschools without a college degree, or the fact that she's doing this homeschooling while her 2 and 3 year old boys who have the same birthday (you do the math) are running around the house every day.

So what do I do? Other than her (and her hellions) I like the other normal people that I meet. Oh, I forgot to mention that she runs the group and is at every single event. Yeah. That. Would appreciate your thoughts, please.

Let's see, that's all been today. I re-started tennis on Tuesday night. A lady called me on Monday about a league that started on Tuesday. A very casual league....good to get back into the swing of things. (Heh.) The courts are ranked and you get moved up or down based on how well you do on your court after playing three sets of doubles, one with each of the people on your court. Well. You start at the bottom. On my court, there was one normal woman, Grandma Bessie, and Jimmy. Jimmy was mentally retarded and didn't actually speak aloud or call scores, but did play tennis, if somewhat erratically. He was silent - I swear, I thought he was mute - until the third set when he was my partner and he turned to me and said, "Are you 26?" I was about to receive a serve and was a bit off guard. I thought for a fraction of a second before responding firmly, "Yes, I am!" If he wants me to be 26, or thinks I look 26, I'll be 26! "I'm 22," he said at the next serve. I'm not sure if he was hitting on me or just getting his facts in order. At any rate, I won my court, so maybe next week I'll get to move up. I wasn't nearly as terrible after a two year break as I thought I would be.

Gus has only had one food incident since the Five Fiber Bars Incident. On Tuesday, he snagged a bag of coffee grounds out of the pantry (I swear, this dog must be hiding his secret opposable thumbs), ripped it open, and sampled it. Judging by the stripes of coffee on the carpet, I'm going to guess that he didn't care for it. The vet [who, by the way, looks at the caller ID and answers, "What did he eat today?"] told me to watch for signs of agitation or fidgety-ness, lest his heart be affected by the caffeine. Since he flopped down for a nap, I decided he was okay.

Piglet is having a good year in preschool. Everyday, he tells me that he played and ate lunch, though he brings home all kinds of artwork, letters, colors, and numbers. He also sings long songs in his room during "quiet" time that I know I haven't taught him. Alas, he must be learning by osmosis, since he's just there to play and eat. Behold, his school pictures:

That should just about catch us up on the week. I made some pretty stellar meatballs from ground turkey for dinner last night. Aside from a Thursday night trip to buy glasses, that may have been the highlight of the week. Coming soon: Ways to Live Frugally, by Pigs. Will accept suggestions.

Chop, chop

Have you ever tried to give a wiggly 16 month old with fine, thin bird hair a haircut? Really? Did you cut your kid's finger with the scissors too? Hmm. Thought that was just me. Vote in the comments for me for Mother of the Year. I have to say, though, finger or not, his hair looks markedly better. I was considering having him wear a tie and go as Donald Trump for Halloween it was so bad.

Also today, I racked up at the grocery store, buying $64.78 of products for $2.88. My rightful total should have been $1.88, but SOMEONE who shall remain nameless (Piglet) practiced with his scissors on my Coffeemate $1/2 coupon. What is it with scissors today? They are a central theme in my life today.

Something entertaining not related to scissors was when I came downstairs with the expectation that Mr. Pigs would have appropriately dressed Piglet for church in one of the two outfits I brought down. I had complete confidence that he could a) choose the best outfit and b) put it on him correctly being that Mr. Pigs is both a dude and a dude who dresses himself successfully every day for work. Alas. I arrived on the scene minutes before we had to leave for church to find Piglet dressed in both the red polo shirt AND the blue checked button up that I had laid out. I could have used some scissors at that moment, let me tell you.

Tomorrow is Monday, our catch up day. Piglet doesn't have school and for the first time in weeks, we have nothing to do. It's kind of a relief. We might make a little Target trip or hang in the yard. Maybe run with scissors?

Up On the Housetop, Swimming Pools!

Whoo-boy, I am some kind of tired! Today was the Clemson extravaganza as they played Wake Forest. Piglet has been dying to go to a game and is dressing as a Clemson football player for Halloween. He could spell Clemson before he could spell his own name and might possibly bleed orange. You can imagine the excitement when his moment had come at last.

Piglet popped up from bed like jack in the box and grabbed his football helmet, all business. He twitched and bounced for most of the ride to Clemson, his excitement was so apparent.



I'm not sure how it is that we keep seeing Things Atop Trailers, but sure enough, we saw another one today....sadly, not fast enough to take a picture. Whizzing by on my right, I spotted a plastic kids' swimming pool on top of a dilapidated single wide. This sparked a stimulating conversation that rivaled our ponderance of the computer on a table atop the last tenement on wheels in South Carolina. Interestingly (or perhaps not), this one was also in the great state which bore my husband.

Refocus on our guesses: There was a leak and they thought it would be simpler to catch the water in the pool than to fix it? They were going for a luxury rooftop swimming experience? Just ran out of storage room and popped it up there? Feeling green and captured their own rainwater for irrigation purposes? The possibilities are endless and I'm relatively confident we could have gone on wondering for a good twenty minutes if we hadn't been distracted by THE GUY PEEING BEHIND HIS TRUCK.

Now, I'm all for being a dude and stopping for a convenience tinkle, but come on! This guy was standing behind his truck for all the world to witness his urination into the wild and not even trying to be discreet. We could see the stream! Right there, side of the road. Klassy.

We managed to put that behind us and have a good time - though coldish and rainish - without losing either kid or having major injury. I hogged out on sausage balls, pigs in blankets, boiled peanuts, and cake. I'm considering submitting myself to Health magazine as an example of a nutrition "don't". I'm not ashamed to tell you that I ate them again for dinner and am considering topping it off with some nachos or popcorn.

Clemson stomped Wake Forest, Pigpen fell asleep in his stroller, and ye happy family made it back to car to head home. That was all fine and good until we passed ANOTHER GUY PEEING BEHIND HIS TRUCK. Seriously! This guy had just finished up as we passed and didn't even take the courtesy to pretend he was checking a tire of something, instead he zipped up with a flourish and made eye contact as we drove by. Are we cave people?

In conclusion, very little about this post is really about Clemson, but actually is mostly focused out rogue outdoor urinators and things atop trailers. I'm sure a lot of very interesting, meaninful and possibly entertaining events transpired today, but in my exhaustion all I've got is pee and trailers. Sorry about that.

Garbage.

Hello, friends! Buddies! Pals! Imaginary blog friends? I come to you with a glass of Pinot Noir and a tired brain. Gus is staring at me with big brown puppy eyes that say, "Feed me? Please?" as though he's starving to death. I'm staring right back at him with my big brown unfeeling eyes that say, "Suck it, dog. You ate a whole box of Fiber One bars this morning. You'll be lucky if I feed you before Monday." He'd better be glad I got those for free or I'd really be hoppin' mad.

Piglet has lost his mind. I mean, truly, really absolutely lost it. He was perfectly angelic at school this morning, and relatively good during "quiet time" with the exception of the yelling, singing, and stomping about business. But as soon as he was released from QT, Lordhavemercy he turned into a lunatic. Not the fun kind, either. More of the temper tantrum, thrashy, disagreeable type. There was a great deal of patience (on my part), time out attempts (on my part) and being sent to his room to thrash about in private (on his part). Thank goodness we're the type of parents who turn the doorknob around backwards to keep the kid in place. (Please don't report me.)

Pigpen, on the other hand, is thus far unlikely to require this sort of barbarian treatment. Generally, if I just give him a mean face he will burst into tears and come to me for a hug. This is the kind of kid I can work with. Of course, he's only 16 months, so let's give him time before we make that statement too loosely. His high-maintenance behavior currently is climbing. As in, I helped Piglet get some blocks out and turned around to find Pigpen on top of a table, pointing to a train on the wall picture saying, "Dis? Dis?" Because it's normal just to climb up there and ask, I suppose. I've had to break out the seat belt in the high chair, which is brand-spanking clean on account of my arrogant response to it when Piglet was in the high chair of - "What kind of kid needs a harness in a high chair? Come on!" Ah, my friend karma. We meet again.

Hey, here's some fun news: Piglet has been peeing in the potty like a big man (read: standing up and peeing all over the floor) for a month or two now, but still stands firm in his opposition to pooping on the potty. Later, he says, soon! But not now. I've resorted to bribes. He gets to open a small (Target Dollar Spot) present when he poops in the potty. Three of them. Then, when it continues appropriately and I declare him Trained, he gets to do something special. What would you like to do, I ask?

A train ride? The bounce house? Pizza? Maybe a new toy? These ideas instantly flow into my very dense, adult brain.

He thinks. He ponders. There's even some mulling. After about five minutes, he has it. He wants me to take him to the landfill.

Pause.

I'm sorry, what? The landfill? You achieve something monumental and you want me to take you to the place where the garbage trucks deposit REFUSE? Seriously? He's serious. He's going to the landfill when he's Trained.

I told him I wasn't exactly sure where the landfill was, but he assured me that I could find out "on the computer." I didn't know if it was a place you could, um....visit, exactly. "You can do it, Mommy," he says.

Fantastic. Anyone want to join me on a fieldtrip?